Question:  Recently I had an encounter with a pastor who said that according to the teaching of Jesus, anyone who divorces and remarries is living in adultery and will go to hell unless they get a divorce and live alone. What do you think about this?

Answer:  First of all, no one goes to hell because they got a divorce and remarried. That is utterly ridiculous and a complete misinterpretation of Scripture. If you have put your trust in Christ as your personal Savior, you are saved and sealed by the Holy Spirit. You belong to Christ, and He has promised a place for you in heaven. Nothing can separate a child of God from His love (Romans 8:38).

Now, it’s true that God hates divorce, but that doesn’t mean it condemns you to hell. Sin is what condemns us to hell, but when we receive Christ as Lord and Savior, that penalty is paid. There is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1).

The reason God hates divorce in particular is because of what it does to marriage and the people involved. But divorce happens–not always for the right reasons–and it’s never a pleasant experience. In an ideal world, it would be great to go back and fix the past, but that’s not always possible. Your past is past, and if you have asked God to forgive you, that’s exactly what He has done (1 John 1:9).

Beyond asking God for His forgiveness, you can and should ask forgiveness of those you have hurt in the past, but to divorce again and live alone in order to fix the first problem is utterly ridiculous and wrong advice.

Yes, Jesus does teach about divorce (Matthew 5:31-32). He said that divorce is not permissible except for unfaithfulness. This does not mean that divorce should automatically occur when a spouse commits adultery. According to The Handbook of Bible Application, the word translated “unfaithfulness” implies a sexually immoral lifestyle, not a confessed and repented act of adultery. Those who discover that their partner has been unfaithful should first make every effort to forgive, reconcile, and restore their relationship. We are always to look for reasons to restore the marriage relationship rather than for excuses to leave it.