Question: I have been in the same church my entire life, but I am not growing spiritually any more. However, if I were to leave, I think I would deeply hurt my family. What should I do?

Answer: You have expressed a deep longing that many people have these days. They have been in church for years, and yet they feel that they’re not growing spiritually. It’s a genuine feeling, and there’s nothing wrong with having it. In fact, what it means is that you desire a deeper relationship with God, and you don’t know if your own church can provide it.

There are several things you could do. We aren’t going to necessarily suggest which route you should take, except to say that the last option isn’t really an option. Here you go:

Option #1: You can find another church that will encourage you to grow spiritually. It may be a church where the worship is more vital, or where the preaching is more biblical. It may be a church where there is a greater opportunity to get involved in a small group that will encourage you spiritually. The challenge with this option is that there’s no perfect church, so there is a chance that you won’t be able to find something “better” anytime soon. Still, it’s worth considering.

Option #2: You can become part of a group that starts a home church or some other kind of fellowship that meets in an unconventional place. This trend of “house churches” is exploding across the country because it gives people an opportunity to get more closely involved with worship, discussions, and Bible study. But it’s not for everybody, because not everybody is ready to get this personal about church.

Option #3: You could stay where you are and become an agent for change. You may want to find some other people who feel the same way you do, and then ask God to use you to bring about change in your church. This option carries with it much more responsibility, because now you are the one offering to get involved with your time and possibly your resources.

Option #4: You could do drop out of church completely because you’re so discouraged. As we said, this last option isn’t an option in our opinion. It doesn’t solve anything, and it separates you from your fellow believers.

Regardless of which of the first three options you ultimately choose, it’s important to let your family know how you feel and what you’re going through. Yes, they may be hurt if you leave the church where you have been attending all your life, but that isn’t a reason to stay if God is calling you to change your pattern. You might be surprised how understanding your family is. Who knows? Some of them may feel the same way!

It’s important that you pray about this. Ask the Lord to give you wisdom and direction, and He will in His time.